It is scary when you realise you need to start doing things differently, whether it be a new job, a nutrition program or leaving an unhealthy relationship. Many women stay in relationships because they are afraid of being on their own. That was me. I was married for 27 years, three children, one grandchild and I knew that my marriage had problems but I had never lived on my own or been responsible for my children on my own and it was scary enough to keep me in my marriage. However, one day I realised that my marriage was just too broken and it could not be fixed so I needed to make the only decision I knew I could make, leave.
The first few weeks were very difficult for me, emotionally, physically (I broke my wrist a week after I left and could not work!), financially and psychologically. However, I did know one thing, God was with me. Exodus 33:14 tells us that His presence is always with us and because of that we can rest and not stress about what is going to happen next. As I have said in a previous blog, it has taken me a while to actually truly grab hold of this concept but I got there in the end.
The reason I finally understood is that I looked back on the last 2 ½ years since my marriage broke down and I realised that myself and my children have not lacked anything that we have needed and that is amazing! Whatever we have needed, God has provided as He promised (Philippians 4:19). We have done things that we never thought that we would be able to do and it is all because my God loves us. I remember telling my daughter on the night that my ex-husband and I broke up that God’s plans for us hasn’t changed, it just looks a little different than what it did before. The most amazing thing is that I am now more happy and more content with my life than I have ever been before. By saying this I don’t mean to disrespect my ex-husband, it is just that I have learned to trust God in EVERYTHING! God has become my husband (Isaiah 54:5) and I know that He will never let me down (Hebrews 13:5).
I find it so incredible to think that only just over 2 years ago I was prepared to stay in a marriage that did not fulfil me, that made me feel less than who I knew myself to be and that was just so very unhappy and now I am a totally different person than what I was back then. I have attended counselling and I am now so much more confident, I am not afraid to think outside of the tiny world that I had lived in. I am excited for my future and that of my children! My friends, please be brave! Don’t settle for a life that is not the best that God has for you! He came to give you life, and life more abundantly (John 10:10) but you have to reach out and grab it! If your relationship needs help, get it! If your health needs improving, change it! If your job needs to change, change it! Don’t be afraid (2 Timothy 1:7)