I have been going through so many changes and season’s in my life over the past few years and sometimes I just feel like my head is spinning and I just want it all to stop! Lately though I have felt something different, something exciting, a little bit scary but something I just can’t deny! It is a stirring and an almost undeniable need to speak out about my story, to stand WITH those who have been abused, to WALK with women through the journey of healing and CELEBRATE the victory of overcoming and stepping out of a life of abuse! I know all this is possible because I have been there, I have felt the darkness overwhelm me because of abuse. I have felt unloved, unattractive, unimportant and any other ‘un’ word you can throw at me BUT because I am loved by my Saviour I believe I am now walking in victory over the plans satan had for me to bring me down.
The job of satan is to rob you of your God given destiny (John 10:10), he wants you to denounce God and the way he does this is by throwing up obstacles in our way. Obstacles such as verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse. he wants you to get angry with God and blame God for what happened to you so that you will turn away. Let me tell you, I know how this feels but I also know that God is not responsible for the abuse that happened to me, man is. God is however responsible for the healing that I have received, for the redemption of my own sin, God is responsible for the joy that I now feel and He has taught me to embrace my story.
There was a time, not so very long ago, when I felt ashamed of my story, unhappy with who I was, discontent with what I had achieved in my life and extremely sad with where I was in life. Through the many twists and turns that life has laid out for me, though, I have always felt a sense of knowing that God had something better for me. Let’s face it, if we truly felt that what we had today was all that life was going to be, how many of us would want to get out of bed tomorrow morning?
Over the past few months, in particular, I have met people who have taught me to love me, not in the vain “oh I am so special” sense, but just to look in the mirror (something I usually avoided) and tell my self that I accept myself no matter how my body, hair or face look at that time. I have learnt to embrace who I am and embrace my story. There are parts of my story that are not so nice, there are parts of my story that make me angry, parts that make me sad, parts that make me feel embarrassed and I have learnt to embrace those parts, however there are other parts of my story too. I have parts of my story that give me great joy, parts that still to this day make me laugh hysterically, parts that make me feel loved and I choose to embrace those parts too.
Beautiful women, I know that there are parts of your story that bring you pain, but I also know that there are parts of your story that bring you joy and there are also parts of your story that, like me, are not even written yet except in the heart of God, so I urge you to embrace your story, live joyfully, live abundantly trusting and know that God has got your back and nothing is impossible for him.