Being alone does not mean you are lonely!



Loneliness can be soul destroying and the fear of it is one of the main reason’s women stay in bad relationships.  I know this is something that I have had great battles with in recent years.    For many years I was afraid to be alone, I wouldn’t stay in my house by myself, I needed to be around people all the time and it is one of the main reasons I stayed in my marriage for so long.  Not a healthy reason to stay!

In the past 3 years I have discovered the importance of being alone and it has been life changing!  If we take Jesus as our example, and we should, He took time out to be alone often. In Matthew 14:23  Jesus took time to be alone to pray after He had fed the multitudes from five loaves and two fish.  He went alone to pray and sent His disciples out on their boat and then walked out to meet them in Mark 6:47 .  When Jesus knew that the people were going to take Him by force to make Him King (prematurely) He departed to be alone (John 6:15) .

So we can take from Jesus example that whenever He was facing a ‘challenge’ in His life He didn’t call all His bestie’s around and discuss the pro’s and con’s or have a whinge about all the pressure that was being put on Him.  Jesus withdrew and spent time with His Father, He prayed and sought God’s blessing and direction, He was comforted by the time alone with His Father and it is interesting to note that nowhere in the bible does it say that Jesus was ever lonely.

Friends, when you are in a situation that you know you shouldn’t be in, take the time to seek YOUR Heavenly Father, get His wisdom and follow His direction and He will direct your steps (Psalm 119:133).  You are never, ever truly alone, you always have Jesus!


Jesus Christ, our Redeemer and Restorer

Jesus came so that we may live a full life, He has paid our debts, He has set us free from fear and He did this through the cross.  He is our Redeemer and He lives in us.   There are at least 22 references in the Bible to Jesus our Redeemer from Job through to  Luke but what does the word “redeem’ mean?

One definition on says to ‘buy or pay off, clear by payment’ this would mean that Jesus paid the price for us and that price was going through a horrific and painful death so that we could live eternally in Heaven with our heavenly father.  That is the most humbling thought if we would just grasp the gravity of what He did!  Before Jesus went to the cross we were all bound for hell because of our sinful nature.  We were lost with no way out but God, through His unfailing love for His creation, sent us a ‘get out jail free’ card in the form of His Son Jesus Christ (John 3:16). Continue reading “Jesus Christ, our Redeemer and Restorer”

Turning your mess into a message


This is the message I posted on facebook when I was locked out of this website.  In case you aren’t on the facebook page I hope you enjoy it.

When we begin a relationship with Christ we become a new creation in Him (2 Corinthians 5:17). We should let go of the old us and embrace the new beginning Jesus offers us. This means that we should no longer respond or react in the same way we used to.

When someone hurts us we don’t need to get revenge, God promises us that He is the judge and that He will avenge our hurts. As a new creation we are to do the OPPOSITE of what the world teaches us and turn the other cheek. This does not mean that we are to be doormats and let people walk all over us, but instead walk with dignity and don’t let what other people do to us affect our peace.

Being hurt, physically, emotionally or sexually, is extremely painful and it is natural to want to hurt the person that hurt you, but friends, that won’t make you feel any better really. It may feel better for a moment but I urge you not to sink to the level of others. Trust me, when we rise above the circumstances, when we do things God’s way people notice, we become much more attractive to others and we become the message of God’s love to them. James 3:8 tells us that the tongue is evil and full of deadly poison, words have the power to hurt, it is important to take our thoughts captive and not get into word wars with those who have hurt us. This also means don’t go around telling people how bad this person is, it really isn’t anyone else’s business and it will not only hurt the other person but you as well.

I know it feels natural to lash out and vent when bad stuff happens and I am not advising you to hold it in but you do have options:

1. Find a trusted friend, someone who you know to be safe and won’t be involved in spreading gossip around.
2. Get yourself a good psychologist or counsellor and talk to them. These people are trained to help you and there is nothing wrong with getting help. It is actually a mature and healthy process to go through.
3. Talk to God. He knows what happened and He knows how you feel and only He has the power to set you free.
Romans 12:9-21 gives us clear guidance as to how we, as Christians, should behave to others, and even to those who have hurt us. It is never easy, I struggle with this myself, but with Jesus help I know we can do it and when we do there will be blessing upon blessing for us.

Continue reading “Turning your mess into a message”

Emotional abuse article

I thought this was too important not to post immediately.  Emotional abuse is not okay!  The ‘bruises’ of emotional abuse are not immediately evident.

Click on the link to read this great article from

God – our life changer!


God can turn the bad things that have happened in our lives into something great and good. God’s Word promises us this in Romans 8:28, that when we love God and are called by Him then He will work with us to turn the bad things into good things.  I love the above image from Christine Caine, it speaks to my heart!

That is the amazing and incredible thing about God, He loves us so much that He will never leave us where we are, instead He leads us THROUGH our circumstances to a much better place. I know this to be true because He has continually done this in my life. Continue reading “God – our life changer!”

You are never alone!

It is scary when you realise you need to start doing things differently, whether it be a new job, a nutrition program or leaving an unhealthy relationship. Many women stay in relationships because they are afraid of being on their own. That was me. I was married for 27 years, three children, one grandchild and I knew that my marriage had problems but I had never lived on my own or been responsible for my children on my own and it was scary enough to keep me in my marriage. However, one day I realised that my marriage was just too broken and it could not be fixed so I needed to make the only decision I knew I could make, leave.

The first few weeks were very difficult for me, emotionally, physically (I broke my wrist a week after I left and could not work!), financially and psychologically. However, I did know one thing, God was with me.  Exodus 33:14 tells us that His presence is always with us and because of that we can rest and not stress about what is going to happen next. As I have said in a previous blog, it has taken me a while to actually truly grab hold of this concept but I got there in the end.

The reason I finally understood is that I looked back on the last 2 ½ years since my marriage broke down and I realised that myself and my children have not lacked anything that we have needed and that is amazing!  Whatever we have needed, God has provided as He promised (Philippians 4:19). We have done things that we never thought that we would be able to do and it is all because my God loves us. I remember telling my daughter on the night that my ex-husband and I broke up that God’s plans for us hasn’t changed, it just looks a little different than what it did before. The most amazing thing is that I am now more happy and more content with my life than I have ever been before. By saying this I don’t mean to disrespect my ex-husband, it is just that I have learned to trust God in EVERYTHING! God has become my husband (Isaiah 54:5) and I know that He will never let me down (Hebrews 13:5).

I find it so incredible to think that only just over 2 years ago I was prepared to stay in a marriage that did not fulfil me, that made me feel less than who I knew myself to be and that was just so very unhappy and now I am a totally different person than what I was back then. I have attended counselling and I am now so much more confident, I am not afraid to think outside of the tiny world that I had lived in. I am excited for my future and that of my children! My friends, please be brave! Don’t settle for a life that is not the best that God has for you! He came to give you life, and life more abundantly (John 10:10) but you have to reach out and grab it!   If your relationship needs help, get it!  If your health needs improving, change it!  If your job needs to change, change it! Don’t be afraid (2 Timothy 1:7)

Conquering the Goliath’s in our lives

We all go through periods in our lives when our problems seem so overwhelming, so huge that we just can’t see how we are ever going to make it to the other side! I truly know how that feels, and I know that when life gets that way you just can’t seem to think about anything but your massive problem!

Let me tell you, amazing ladies, you will get to the other side. Psalm 23 tell us that we go “THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death”, we don’t camp there unless we choose to and really who would want to? Life happens and sometimes it bites, but we can be giant slayers like David with Goliath if we just trust in God. Continue reading “Conquering the Goliath’s in our lives”

Jesus – our new beginning!

Do you ever think that your life is always going to be sad, traumatic, painful………?   You can insert whichever adjective you like but when you start to live a life with Christ life can take a huge turn for the better.  Isaiah 43:19  tells us “Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.”  Surely that should excite you!  We all need a new start when we think we just can’t keep going with life the way it is.

Friends, God promises to show us the way to live a life that is pleasing to Him and full of His blessings!  Seriously, I truly get so excited writing these blogs because when I am studying out scripture for these posts, God is revealing more of Himself to me! Continue reading “Jesus – our new beginning!”

Don’t bury your pain in busyness!

It appears to be quite common for us humans to throw ourselves into some form of ‘busyness’ when we experience a painful or traumatic event. We do this in order to avoid dealing with the pain, I was guilty of this after my marriage broke down. I threw myself into my work, I took on a psychology degree and anything else I could think of that helped me not to remember or think about what had happened. Continue reading “Don’t bury your pain in busyness!”

A beautiful relationship is waiting for you

We all have days when we just feel that we have no hope. I recently went through a period of time where I lost all hope for my future.  My marriage break up two and a half years ago really shook me up and I was still struggling in dealing with all the after effects, the fall out. I didn’t feel I was capable of doing my job which I loved, I felt that I was not doing a very good job of being a mother and the list went on and on. Have you ever felt like this?

My faith in God was strong, I believed, but I just couldn’t get out of this rut that I was in. I wanted a better life than the sad struggle that I was living, and I believed that God wanted more for me as well. I wanted it, I had the faith that He could do it but I didn’t know how to get there.

As I sat in my rocking chair crying and crying out to God in despair one Saturday morning, He answered me. It wasn’t a lightning bolt moment, it wasn’t an audible voice of God thing, it was just a ‘knowing’ and a confidence that it was God directing my steps. His direction was to start ministering to women and girls who had gone through and were wanting to come out of abusive relationships and thus was born.

It has been interesting to see that as I have stepped out and have become obedient to what God has asked of me that my life has suddenly become a lot less oppressive. So many blessings have come my way over the past few weeks, family relationships have improved, financial blessing has come and I have been surrounded by wonderful Godly friends who have encouraged me to keep doing what I have decided to do. It all started with a despairing cry out to God. I do love Jeremiah 29:12 in the Message Bible “When you call on me, when come and pray to me. I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. When you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed”.

That is a decree from God but it requires action from us. We can’t just sit around waiting for God to act, He wants a relationship with us. defines the word as “a connection, association or involvement”. God wants us to be involved with Him, connected to Him, associated with Him. He created us so that we could have relationship with Him but we need to want that as well. Prayer should not be a reaction to a desperate situation, it must always be our first response.

If you have not yet started a relationship with Jesus, I urge you to do so today. If you don’t know what to pray then go to our website and pray the prayer of salvation. When you have done that please email me and let me know that you have accepted Jesus as your Saviour and I will get you connected with a church in your area so you can grow in your relationship with Him.